Agonizing.

Yikes, it's been almost 2 weeks since I last wrote an entry, please forgive me for lacking on the updates. Well, where to begin !

The past two weeks or so have been, brutal. To say the very least...things haven't been the best they could be for Austin and I, and it's been an emotional roller-coaster. Add that along with studying for finals, trying to find a job and every other stress of being a college student, and you have the longest two weeks of my life.

There is so much going on between us right now, I can hardly even keep up...the one thing I want more than anything, is to just be okay...and to have things go back to how they used to be with us. I feel like we're both walking on egg shells whenever we talk to each other, and that kills me. It's going to be a long 3 years...

On a more positive note ? The majority of my girls from high school are finally home from college for the summer. We've had the chance to hang out quite a lot the past week, and I'm so happy to have them back home. It's been a long year apart for all of us, and it feels like things just go right back to how they used to be whenever we're around each other again. Still though, even when I'm partying with them, drinking and having a good time, I still want more than anything to have one person there with me. Whose that one person ? I'm sure you can make an accurate guess.

Austin.

It's Memorial Day Weekend, and I should be in Hawaii right now. Laying out on the beach with the love of my life, enjoying our time together. But no...I'm not. So many other girls are lucky enough to see their men this weekend, and I'd kill to have that chance sometime soon. The past 3 months since we've seen each other have been so tough on both of us. We need time together, or I have a feeling things are going to keep falling apart the way they have been.

Enough depression, Kelsey. I'm going to lay in my bed with my camo bear, watch Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire and eat some pineapple, and then take a long nap :/